Mr. and Mrs. Jon

So, as expected, there are some cultural differences that we have observed in Nigeria. Marriage for example is a bit different here than in the U.S. Marriage in Nigeria is for one purpose, to have children. You don't really have to "love" your spouse, there does not have to be much of an "emotional connection", I think that the common denominator is that you simply like your spouse. The families of those who are getting married are also heavily involved in the process, acting as two governmental delegations in an international relations negotiation. The marriage itself is more like a contract to bring two people together in order to have children which will satisfy each of the families’ desire for posterity. It's also funny how happy/proud they are of the institution of marriage here. When Kristen and I go to a church for the first time, often they will ask us to come up in front of the congregation and introduce ourselves (typical Nigerian protocol). I'll introduce myself and then when I say, "and this is my wife Kristen" the whole place erupts into applause. I've never seen people so happy to see a married couple. Not only that, but everyone asks us how many children we have, and you can see the disappointment in their faces when we say none. Some are very blunt and ask us why we don't have any kids yet, but we mostly deflect this question by telling them we want to have stable jobs that produce a steady paycheck before begetting offspring. This usually goes over well, I think it shows we're being responsible.

The Nigerian family structure is another area of difference, and is definitely a patriarchal one. It's pretty normal for people to address me (Jon) before Kristen and even direct most of their questions at me just because I am the husband. Women in Nigeria are expected for the most part to be quite and reserved. One of the funniest manifestations of this cultural phenomenon takes place when people call to us in or around the clinic. Even though both Kristen and I introduce ourselves to the same person at the same time, both telling this person our names, they many times side step acknowledging Kristen. A typical greeting would go like this:
Jon: Hello Greg (our driver at the clinic)
Greg: Hello Jon
Kristen: Good morning Greg
Greg: Hello Jon's wife
This is typical and happens all the time. We gave a presentation for some outreach workers at the clinic last week on "the house of nutrition". Kristen pretty much did the presentation, I was just the house, but they still had on the program that Mr. and Mrs. Jon were presenting. Just funny!

The people here are pretty hard working people for the most part. The whole town seems to be up and active by 6:00 AM and don't usually go to bed until around 12 every night (and we think we're a nation sleep deprived). I have a theory on why this is however, and I think it stems from the fact that Nigerians don't have the same understanding of what we would call "respect for other people's quiet". By 5:50 AM, almost like clockwork, our neighbor starts doing her laundry in the courtyard of our building, singing along to her three favorite songs that she plays on her tape cassette player. Then around 6:15 AM, the landlord on the third floor of our building will have a worship service that involves a lot of singing and clapping. So by 6:30, you don't have a choice, you're up whether you like it or not. Then, because the power is on and off all day long, people run generators at night to have electricity in their homes. There is no law about when these generators need to be turned off, or how close to your neighbor's bedroom window your generator is. Again, could you imagine that happening in a residential neighborhood in the U.S.?

Thanks for listening to our adventures,
Jon